If you would look up the definition of perseverance in the dictionary you would probably see a picture of us. We have persevered through a lifetime of heartaches and tragedies that most families fortunately will never experience. Yet with our deep love and support for each other, and the help of our family and friends, we are continuing to pursue our lifelong dream of having a family.
It all started in 1996 when we first met each other while working at Walt Disney World. From the very first conversation we had about what we wanted in life we both put having a family on the top of the list. We both wanted to be parents more than anything in this world and that was the foundation of our love. We were married on October 3, 1998 and immediately began our quest to have our family. |
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After a couple of years of not conceiving naturally we decided to get the help of a fertility specialist. Our first step was artificial insemination. We had four unsuccessful attempts and decided to take the next step and try in-vitro-fertilization. During this time Luldes lost her mother to Alzheimer’s disease at the young age of 57 and was devastated. As hard as it was, we decided to move forward on our quest of having a family. We had a total of three unsuccessful attempts of in-vitro fertilization with two of them resulting in miscarriages. After the pain of the second miscarriage subsided we decided that our best hope of starting a family and fulfilling our dream would be through adoption. |
A year and a half later, Graham Robert Frechette was born in our hearts through the miracle of adoption. We traveled to Cali, Colombia in July of 2003 to complete the long and hard emotional process to form our family. Graham was nine weeks old when we first held him with tears of joy. As we looked into Graham’s eyes we felt he was a true gift from God and we were the luckiest couple in the world to have such a beautiful baby to call our own. We were committed to providing him with all the love we had.
Graham was a true angel. He was beautiful, healthy, pleasant and had a smile that would melt your heart. Everyone and anyone that had the opportunity to meet Graham thought he was something special. As the first days turned into weeks, then months, we cherished every second of them. We had the family we always dreamed of and everything we did was with Graham. If anyone invited us to do anything we would always ask if it was OK to bring Graham.
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| On Sunday, September 18, 2005 our dream turned into a nightmare. We were having a BBQ with family and friends that included jet skiing on our neighborhood lake. We were all standing on the dock when one of Roger’s closest friends was taking his turn. He was driving toward us (we all thought he was going to turn) and before we knew it he was on top of the dock. He crashed directly into Graham and Luldes. Graham’s life was lost that day and we were in shock for months. Just to make it from one day to the next was a struggle. |
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We were informed by many that the divorce rate for couples suffering this sort of tragedy was extremely high. With our love for each other we were determined not to add to that statistic and we sought the help of a professional grief counselor. We still see this counselor on a weekly basis. He has helped us tremendously. With his help we are now starting to live again and move forward with our life.
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Unfortunately, we are now back to where we started ten years ago wanting to have a family again. We know without a doubt our little angel in heaven would want it that way. In addition to us starting our adoption process over again we are also creating the Graham Robert Frechette Foundation. This foundation will serve two purposes. 1. It will financially help Chiquitines, the orphanage in Cali, Colombia. 2. It will help provide financial assistance for counseling to couples who have lost a child. Hopefully our foundation will help keep adoptions possible and help keep couples together that have suffered the loss of their child. With our perseverance we will dedicate the rest of our life to support the Graham Robert Frechette foundation in any way we can. |
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